Thoughts Aloud

I have long contended that the best way to “solve” many problems is to simply redefine them as advantages. A good example is the so-called “nuclear waste problem”. We consider nuclear material that is no longer usable in a power generating plant a “problem” because it is still radioactive. But, isn’t that another way of saying that it is still capable of producing energy? That being the case, rather than defining it a “problem” because we can’t find a reliably safe way to dispose of it, why not redefine it a “resource” that can be recycled for some productive use? Given the history of human ingenuity, I have no doubt this could be done, turning a costly “problem” into a new source of revenue.

That was so easy, I decided to apply my new-found power of redefinition to a truly enormous problem. Forget runaway budgets and underarm odor – I am talking about fat. Lots of fat. As a nation, we have become so fat that even the first lady has gotten involved (hmmm… I wonder if she has ever looked at her own butt in a mirror? But I digress).

So far, all attempts to get us to eat rationally, get exercise and all that other stuff that we are not about to do, has all failed to reduce (play on words) the problem. So, let’s turn this “problem” into an “advantage”.

We all know there is a fuel crisis, gas going over $5/gallon, possible shutdown of oil supplies from the Middle East, no drilling at home and other horrors. Here is my suggestion:

We fund development of a liposuction-like process that is faster, cheaper and safer than the current process. Then we pay the lard bottoms to come to a collection center, have their excess fat suctioned out and collected for conversion to diesel fuel (a process that already exists). Then, the contributor can take the money they were paid for the fat and head straight to Mickey D’s to start the process over. Managed correctly, this has the potential to provide an inexhaustible source of cheap fuel. Talk about renewable energy!!

Don’t laugh – this could really work.

Troy L Robinson